FAQ

How do I support my friend or family member?

Men are often reluctant to seek help. Find out what you can do.

How do I contact Men's Aid Ireland for help?

Call our national Confidential Helpline: 01-5543811

Email us: [email protected].

We provide support services nationwide.

How do I make an appointment?

All clients can make one to one appointments directly with our support workers by contacting the national crisis helpline on: 01-5543811

There is also a drop in facility at our Navan office: Mon-Fri 10am-4pm.

Confidential E-mail: [email protected].

Does your service cost anything?

Men’s Aid Ireland is an Irish charity and does not apply fees to our services. However, donations are greatly appreciated.

How can I make a donation to Men's Aid Ireland work?

Please support our work through donating on our website or getting in touch.

Will Men's Aid keep my information confidential?

Men’s Aid is a strictly confidential service. However, we are governed by children’s first guidelines and are legally bound to report any incidents of child endangerment to TUSLA.

How long can I use your service?

Our services are available for as long as you need us.

Can I use your service even if I don’t want to leave my partner?

We provide specialist counselling, practical information and legal options, while respecting and supporting you in all your decisions should you decide to leave or stay in the relationship.

What is Parental Alienation?

Our organisation supported over 5,500 contacts to our service in 2020. Dad’s reporting domestic violence and coercive control. We take every call very seriously and work with colleagues including Tusla, An Garda Siochana, Social work professionals, medical practitioners, mediators, fellow domestic violence colleagues and legal professionals. Our focus and priority is always the children’s safety.

There is minimal academic, child psychology expert research available in Ireland and therefore we consulted with our colleagues in ManKind Initiative UK who have gathered extensive non bias research.

(“Parental alienation is a description of an array of behaviours, processes and outcomes  when a child’s resistance or hostility towards one parent is not justified and is the result of psychological manipulation [through a range of abusive behaviours] by the other parent”), then the abusive behaviours should be included as they are clearly coercive and controlling behaviours.

That is the vital issue, as it is the behaviours that are key rather than the overall description. These behaviours are not a once off, they are a pattern of ongoing behaviours. Our UK colleagues have listed a number here which they took from a number of leading psychologists and family lawyers in January that are examples of coercive controlling behaviours:

Behaviours:

  • Creating a situation where a child’s resistance or hostility towards one parent is not justified and is the result of psychological manipulation by the other parent.
  • One parent creates a false narrative without justification by telling a child falsehoods and/or distorting the child’s memories about the other parent’s behaviour.
  • One parent falsely and without justification telling a child that that the other parent abandoned them, never loved them, or never wanted them.
  • One parent falsely telling a child the other parent will pick them/meet them, when that was not true.
  • One parent without justification painting the other alienated parent in a negative light to the child – mocking their personality characteristics, job, friends, family and belittling them (including in front of the child).
  • One parent falsely telling medical/school staff they have sole custody of a child so that no information is provided to the other parent.
  • One parent blocking communication between the other parent and the child without justification, for example, blocking agreed telephone and/or online contact.

Briefing Paper (Parental Alienation)

By the time most men contact Men’s Aid they have may have been experiencing violence, financial abuse, coercive control, and sexual, mental and verbal abuse for many years.

Men’s Aid never advise men what to do, this has to be their choice. We provide a listening ear, and a knowledge on legal options available to them. 

We provide information on domestic violence orders, practical information on homelessness, children’s issues and family law matters regarding guardianship, custody, and access. All of which are issues men face, and sometimes a reason they stay in an abusive relationship.

We also offer one to one counselling, to help men rebuild their lives if they leave, or to support them through the trauma of domestic abuse if they choose to remain in the home.